Everyone please…get OFF my hair…
So I had a massage appointment with a new masseuse (she works in the gym at my job and it’s convenient – meh..), so let’s consider those two major points already. First I am a new client to this woman and secondly “client” means I’m paying. So, I go to get on the table and I’m all nice and pleasant as I always try to be with strangers. She starts the routine and then she flicks my hair out the way. I say “oh shoot I forgot my tie back for my hair (my blonde long weave hair mind you) do you have anything to pull it out your way.” This heifer says and I quote “I can cut it off” and she snarls it. Really? Really sister with the PERMED hair. REALLY?? So she (I suppose) caught herself cause I kind of just ‘hmmphed’ with a little chuckle and proceeded to curl it up into a pincurl at the back of my head to move it out her way. So then she starts stumbling all over herself saying “oh it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s not in the way. Don’t worry about it.”
So..many..angry..thoughts…and I was already THERE for stress relief..Geesh! Add another source of tension to my already lengthy list, lady. Thanks for that.
First let me say that I WEAR MY HAIR all kinds of ways. Short, long, dyed, natural, permed, weaved, wigs!
I do it all and I enjoy it all. It is whatever I am feeling at the moment. I mean people at my place of employ often say to me they can’t wait to see what I’m going to come in with on Monday, and it’s always a big song and dance as the women ohh and ahh and decide if whether or not THEY LIKE what I decided to rock. I truly don’t care either way about other’s opinion’s but I entertain the talk. I wear what I LIKE and what’s comfortable for ME.
That is the beauty of being over 40. I don’t give a rat’s ass about what you think about my choices. If I like it and it makes me feel good and as long as I think I LOOK FABULOUS. Screw you, and you’re unwanted opinion. (Now if I ask you you’re opinion of something that’s a different matter all together).
Hair to me is an accessory, it is a fashion statement, it is my flair, how I express myself. I have chopped it all off and rocked an almost bald head for 2 years right after my son was born. It was freeing after years of perms. Then it grew back and I decided I wanted to perm it and wrap it for an easy get up and go do once he reached toddler stage. After the third kid, I discovered and rejoiced in the ease of wigs. I change up my color, style and length as easy as 1, 2, 3. Wig cap. Pull on hairstyle. Brush and go! I…LOVE…WIGS…People are amazed when I tell them that most of the styles I rock are wigs. They, for some reason, are afraid to rock a wig. I believe it’s because of the “old lady” stereotype that’s associated with them, but these are not your grandmother’s wigs, people. Wigs are FABULOUS and easy!!!
So back to the sister, that was insulting me, who herself, HAD A DERN perm! How are you going to have an opinion about my HAIR WEAVE having self, with creamy crack evidence all apparent up in yo’ do.
What’s the difference? Is it because that is at least, your hair? Well guess what, this hair on my head is MINE TOO, I bought it! So what? Mind you at the time my hair under my weave was au naturale and I had rocked that for most of the summer but found that the maintenance and products needed for wearing my natural locks was time consuming and costly, so a weave gave my pocket a rest as well as my mornings an extra 30 minutes of sleep time. I explain that to you. To her I said nothing else, cuz again, REALLY?
Au natural is now IN (and it was IN back in the 70’s too people – nothing new under the sun) so now that’s the big push and overexposed marketing mania. Natural hair. Natural Hair. Natural hair products are everywhere, back in the day you had nothing but sulfur 8 and a hot comb. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating sista’s that rock it. Shoot I did, and I enjoyed it. Do you! Be all that gloriousness that is you – BLACK WOMAN with your loose, wavy, curly, or kinky curls. DO…IT…But if a weave works for me as well…Let me be me. If I want to wear a blonde weave/wig down to my ass crack. So be it. My ass…my crack, what do you care? Why all the snarling and back talk? But the fact that this woman, who judged, had a chemical process in her own hair yet had the audacity to dislike my hair choice just floored me.
Why, oh why, are sista’s projecting attitude off of a presumed hair hierarchy? Are we still stuck on what’s perceived as good hair, bad hair. STILL??? And has the tide so turned now, that because we have finally learned to embrace our natural hair textures all other’s are deemed unworthy?
When you’re over 40, you have worn every style there is. You have seen what works on you and what doesn’t. What flatters and what is just plain fugly. Or perhaps not. Maybe if you’re adventurous, you’ve tried them all. I have and I’m glad that I have. I don’t fear chopping it all off either. It’s just hair, it will grow back, and if it doesn’t, sew or glue some in. See how glorious that is? How freeing? It’s also quite empowering and it makes you feel sexy, changing up your ‘do even temporarily.
Hmmm..Now that I think about it, perhaps she didn’t dislike the hair itself. Perhaps she was a bit peeved that I had the audacity to rock a blonde weave, period. Hmmmph. All sexy and empowered and what not.
Get O.F.F. my hair..and get some of your own.
(that’s my next ‘do…yes… I am getting ALLLLLL that hair SEWED in!!!)